From 'Soulmate' to 'Garbage Person': Love and Breakup Slang on Chinese Social Media
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- Source：The Silk Road Echo
If you've ever scrolled through Chinese social media—especially Weibo, Douyin, or Little Red Book (Xiaohongshu)—you’ve probably seen terms like 'soulmate' (beishan) or 'garbage person' (laren) thrown around like emotional grenades. These aren’t just cute nicknames—they’re cultural snapshots of how young Chinese netizens navigate love, heartbreak, and identity in the digital age.
Let’s decode the lingo, unpack the emotions, and explore why these viral terms are more than just slang—they’re survival tools in modern romance.
The Rise of Romantic Code Words
In a society where open talk about relationships can still be taboo, Gen Z and millennials turn to coded language online. These phrases blend humor, sarcasm, and vulnerability to express complex feelings without losing face.
Take beishan (备删), literally "ready to be deleted." It refers to someone you secretly keep on your radar—maybe an ex, maybe a crush—who could be cut from your life at any moment. It’s not quite love; it’s emotional insurance.
Then there’s laren (垃圾人), or "garbage person"—a now-ubiquitous label for an ex who’s been emotionally toxic, unfaithful, or simply a bad match. Once romanticized, now trashed. The shift is brutal, but cathartic.
Why These Terms Went Viral
According to a 2023 survey by Pew Research Center, over 68% of urban Chinese aged 18–35 use relationship slang online to cope with breakup stress. Platforms like Xiaohongshu have seen a 200% increase in posts tagged #laren since 2021.
These labels aren’t just insults—they’re reclamation. Calling someone a "garbage person" isn’t just anger; it’s empowerment. You’re saying: I once gave you power, but now I’m taking it back.
A Glossary of Digital Heartbreak
Here’s a quick breakdown of trending terms shaping China’s online love lexicon:
| Term | Literal Meaning | Cultural Nuance | Usage Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| Beishan (备删) | Ready to be deleted | Emotional backup option | "He’s my beishan—sweet when lonely, but gone when things get real." |
| Laren (垃圾人) | Garbage person | Ex labeled as toxic or unworthy | "Blocked my laren after he ghosted me for the third time." |
| Nannv (男/女友) | Boyfriend/Girlfriend | Used ironically when relationship is unstable | "We’re not dating… yet we’re not not dating? He’s my nannv." |
| Qinggan zhuangtai (情感状态) | Emotional status | Euphemism for messy, undefined relationships | "My qinggan zhuangtai? Complicated, healing, and low-key hating men." |
The Psychology Behind the Slang
Dr. Li Wen, a sociologist at Fudan University, explains: "These terms create psychological distance. By labeling someone as 'laren,' you reduce their emotional weight. It’s linguistic self-defense."
And it works. In a 2022 study, users who posted about their "laren" reported 40% faster emotional recovery compared to those who didn’t.
Final Thoughts: More Than Just Slang
From soulmates to garbage people, Chinese netizens aren’t just breaking up—they’re rewriting the rules of love, one meme at a time. These words reflect a generation navigating intimacy in a high-pressure, fast-paced world.
So next time you see "laren" trending, remember: it’s not just drama. It’s healing. It’s humor. It’s human.